This evening I have read a essay about confession of a prisoner under sentence of death, he deserved his punishment for he has done many curses to the public in order to benefit for himself. He was going to accept the capital punishment very soon. Suddenly I admired him for he was imposed to give up his life, when people like me should still continue their lives for a long time with no strong reasons, just for their physical instinct of afraid of death. He is able to experience the special process to go to that world, where no one has ever come back.
If there is such a rule, that every prisoner under execution can choose to live once they paid their properties to someone else who are too painful to go on living. Then someone else are going to experience euthanasia instead of prisoners peacefully. Their families or creditors will get a lot of money in return because of this. That person will be considered as never existed, clean and fresh.
I have been a vampire for twenty years. For such a long time my hosts--the parents bear hardship without any complaint. But what can I do in return? Just bring them much more annoyance and tire. I can neither stand manual work, nor bear headwork, so there's no meaning for me to exist, and my only ability is absorb other people's energy. Therefore if some prisoner under sentence of death is willing to support my parent's future lives, it will be an ideal thing.
The possibility is quite indistinct. My discreditable life will still continue, now that the life is valueless, and bear much more pain than happy, it is not a bad choice to give up. Maybe it's just the drive of idleness. However, hesitation arrest us to practice our plan from time to time, it is quite difficult to decide, I have to think about it now and again, for much time.
No desire is important now, because all will be lost at the end of people's life. Why every day I saw all people so hurried to do their affairs? They may try to bring themselves happiness, for a happier life. Well, it is a fair reason, but during the process it may bring them pain, and eventually they only enjoy the happiness for a short period of time, their desires grew up again to annoy them. Therefore they fall into pain again and again like a circle.
What about abandon all the desire? But there's no such person in this world. They are all lying in the graves. Even they are living, they are like dead people, walking corpse and running flesh. It has the same substance as death.
It is really difficult to decide.
